“If you don't like the way you look it's probably because you have chosen the wrong mirror to look at yourself in! Stop using other people as a mirror, to see your reflection in”
I read this somewhere and it rang true for me. I have been on the receiving and giving end. But let me focus on being a broken and dirty mirror for others.
As parents, in our desire to protect our children from the criticism of the world, or due to our personal experience while growing up, we can be eager to “fix” our children.
We do this by telling them to improve the way they study, their grades, the way they stand, sit, walk, talk, dress… We sometimes get so caught up in doing what we have convinced ourselves is the best for them, that we deprive them of their true identity and confidence in themselves. We forget that what our children need is that we accept them, appreciate them and stand by them in their failures and strengths.
We are the mirrors that can show them we love them the way they are. Their beauty can be reflected in our eyes and they can clearly see the disappointment and criticism too. Humans are very intuitive, especially children. They can feel the feelings behind the words.
I clearly remember a day when our daughter was about 10. I had a rough day at work and was feeling irritated and angry. Those were the days I used to feel angry most of the time! When I got back from work, she asked, “mum are you ok?” I replied, “Yes!” She promptly responded, “you look thorny”. Obviously, she could feel or see my aura as jagged and prickly!
It is important to guide our children by example. Our focus needs to be on what they are good at, to boost their confidence, and show them their strengths. It is best to catch them doing things right and make a big deal of it! Unless necessary and something is harmful to them or others, I feel it is best to underplay what we as adults may see as imperfect.
I urge all parents to be shining bright mirror that reflects their children's inner beauty and true image. Teach them to love, respect, and honor themselves and everyone else.
I am no expert in this field. I have made many mistakes that I wish I could go back in time and correct. Hypnosis has helped me do a lot of inner work, but I do wish I had the guidance and wisdom to have been a better parent. Yet I know, like every parent, I did my best with the resources, very limited knowledge, and zero experience that I had when I became a parent.
Love from someone who once was a perfectionist!