Looking up the definition of ‘Love’ I came across: 1. A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. 2. A feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend. 3. A sexual passion or desire.
No mention of self-love here! So, I looked up the definition of ‘Selfish’ and this is what I got: 1. Devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others. 2. Characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself: selfish motives.
So, Love is about another person and self-love and self-care is about being selfish?
This is exactly what most of us have learned growing up, at home, in school, and beyond. Don’t be selfish we were told, think of others first. So ‘I’ was not important enough to receive love!!??
When we don’t love ourselves, the quality of love we give is superficial. The energy towards-self-love-and-enrichment of love that we share is not rich in quality. On the contrary, it's filled with all kinds of scarcity energies of ‘poor me’. We may wonder, “what more can I do to deserve love?”, “am just not good enough!” or “how come no one loves me?”
When self-love is blocked, we feel sad and not enough, inadequate at the core level. We begin to seek love outside of ourselves, so we may feel complete. However, the love we receive from others is usually conditional and limited.
When we don’t love ourselves, the quality of love we give is superficial. The energy towards-self-love-and-enrichment of love that we share is not rich in quality. On the contrary, it's filled with all kinds of scarcity energies of ‘poor me’. We may wonder, “what more can I do to deserve love?”, “am just not good enough!” or “how come no one loves me?”
Most of the time when we feel unloved, we attract a similar quality of unsatisfactory love, which repeatedly leaves us feeling unfulfilled, hollow, and hurt!
“Self-care is not a waste of time; self-care makes your use of time more sustainable.”
~ Jackie Viramontez
to be continued next week ...